Friday, May 23, 2014

S.151

      "Coffee, sir," Jennifer said, handing a steaming mug to the tired, elderly man walking next to her.  His eyes smiled at her behind his glasses as he grabbed the mug and took a sip.  "Thank you, Jennifer," he said.  "Were they out of lemonade?"
      "No, but they won't make it for humans," Jennifer said.  "Besides," she looked around nervously, as though the Minority Leader and a horde of journalists would pop out at any second, "it's not...becoming of someone of your position to be seen drinking that, Mr. Senator."

      "I didn't become the Majority Leader by giving a damn what people think of me, Jennifer," Hank Reed replied, taking another sip of coffee as he continued down the hall.  "I certainly wouldn't be trying to do what I'm going to do today, if I gave a damn about that."
      "About that, sir," Jennifer said, as the pair approached the old oaken doors to the Senate Floor, "I don't think the Potion Party is going to go along with this.  It could be a mess out there."
      "Could be?" Reed sighed.  "I wish I had your optimism."  He opened the door to a sea of shouting.  The Deinocrats looked almost as miserable as the Rhypublicans, many of whom Glared down at Reed as he walked towards the microphone, as though hoping to inflict paralyz.  Reed allowed himself a quick glance and the audience as he ascended the podium; there were far too many senators wearing small, purple buttons for his comfort.  The Potion Party was picking up more members from the Rhypublicans every day.  Reed sighed.  The Midterms were going to be Hell anyway, he told himself.  If you don't do this, the base won't turn out.
      "As announced yesterday, we will now begin debate over Senate Bill 151, the bill proposing mandatory public education for children," Reed paused, bracing himself for the Uproar, "beyond the age of ten."
      The crowd didn't disappoint.  Too many "blue" Deinocrats kept silent, or even joined the Rhypublican calls of "treason!" and "communist!" Eventually they quieted down as Mick O'Connell, Minority Leader of the Senate, stood up to speak.
      "You cannot seriously expect me to go along with this," he said, staring Reed down.  "First we completely destroyed the liberty, the right, of a trainer to learn to care for his pokémon..." Reed rolled his eyes.  The Affordable Pokémon Center Act had been law for three years; five out of the nine psychic-types on the Supreme Court had declared it constitutional.  The fact that the Rhypublicans had conclusively lost that battle still hadn't sunk in.
      "And now, now you will Snatch away our children from a wholesome life of pokémon battling? For what? Learning to read?" The Potion-Partiers murmured in agreement.  "Last time I checked, this was Unova, not Kalos, and in Unova, our kids' four moves are Battle, Battle, Battle, and Battle!"
      "The Team Plasma crisis was a Wake-Up Slap," Reed said.  "As much as we would like to simply ignore the facts, our current system simply isn't sustainable.  We need to prepare for the day that Pokémon may not listen to us anymore..."
      "Over my fainted body," O'Connel snarled.  To Reed's horror, he lifted his hands from his desk, revealing a pokéball in one hand and a black cap in the other.  O'Connel put on the cap, twisted the brim so the cap was on backwards, and threw his pokéball.  "Filibuster! I choose you!" he yelled.
      Reed groaned.  "Filibuster" was the name of O'Connel's Blissey, and the bastard had EV trained it to soak up ungodly amounts of damage.  According to senate rules, if Reed could not muster enough pokémon to join Cloture (his Slowbro) in attacking Filibuster to make it faint, his bill wouldn't receive a vote.  The last time Filibuster had gone down, it took sixty senators.  Already Reed knew he was facing an uphill battle; only fifty-five Deinocrats had put on their caps, signaling their willingness to fight.  He was going to have to give it a shot.
     "Go! Cloture!" he yelled, and his Slowbro stood alongside the Deinocrat caucus: Barbara Kikboxer and her Hitmonlee, Liz Ward and her Cloyster, already using Shell Smash, Alex Franklin and his Farfetch'd, dozens of pokémon stood, ready to fight.  "Everybody! Strongest attack!" Reed yelled.  The room erupted with the sound of punches and kicks, roars and shouts and Blissey laughter, as fire and ice and thunder fell like rain.
     It was close.  O'Connel started to sweat when Ward scored three critical hits with her Icicle Spear, and with five pokémon left to go Filibuster was already in the red.  But, by just a sliver, she hung on.  "Well, then," O'Connel sniggered, "I guess that concludes business for today."
     "I guess so," Reed said, through gritted teeth.  Without a word to the five Deinocrats that simply looked on and watched, he stormed out of the Senate.
     Jennifer was waiting for him, with another mug of coffee.  "What happened out there?" she asked.
     "Democracy," Reed said bitterly.  "Democracy, Jennifer, and democracy has 255 HP and Leftovers."

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